My mother finally up and gave in to letting me drive her car back from a friend’s house today on the sole condition that I put gas in it for her. I love to drive so I fully welcomed the idea and off I went on my merry way to the gas station. I stopped off at a convenience to grab some big mama Joe M&M’s to satisfy my sweet tooth. I stroll into the store browse the various candy and chocolate bars stacked nicely on the shelves, get my package and head for the counter when something catches my eye… I was in mid process (of looking) when I caught myself thinking… WTF?! I so shouldn’t be looking there! I will not do what guys do! I can’t look… and attempt to distract myself by bending slightly to grab a pack of gum. Just I’m about to straighten my back the man reaches for it and wiggles it a bit. At this point I’m fully up right and he’s got a smirk on his face like “you know I’m the man”. All of a sudden I feel this rush of blood that shoots straight to my brain and my face is instantly as bright as a tomato. I naturally attempted to avoid eye contact at all costs and pretended like nothing was ari. The man takes his receipt and leaves the store. The guy at the counter looks at me with this look in his eyes like “what a jerk” and I smile in agreement then he goes “I don’t know why they do that! The cops ALWAYS come in here with their guns showing them off trying to scare people” and I go “was he wearing a gun? I didn’t notice.”
Guy at counter: “he was fully grabbing it! You must have seen it!”
Me: “well whatcha gonna do when you live in a zoo? Anywhoots u be good… night night”
I start to walk away, and unintentionally think out loud “get your mind out of the gutter Sand-e! Awwwt OF ZEEE gutter!” And In the true spirit of a cheesy armature movie I almost heard the dinging noise of the bells going off in the counter guy’s head as he made sense of it all and started to laugh hysterically. At this point I did what any sane 20 something year old woman my age would do. I sang “just keep swimming.. just keep swimming... عوم وتمختر... عوم وتمختر ”
3 comments:
that was cryptic...i don't understand the story at all..were u looking at his crotch? and where did he keep the gun? let's start over...remember we weren't there.
Something in that general area caught my eye.It was the gun but I hadn't realized it was that till the counter guy mentioned that he was carrying one. I thought his crotch was what got my attention hence the blushing. He had his gun on the front of his hip, obviously purposely being a looser about it.
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