The ONE perk

Every so often after laboring away at business cases for the requisition of “assets” such as vehicles, fax machines or god forsaken photocopiers. I, along with other coworkers, get to hop into a company car and head for the dealership to bring back our brand new puppies. This time there were 5 of us in total. I sign the papers, receive the ownership and each of us gets a bran spanking new car to drive back to the office. This, simple and sad as it sounds is the ONE perk of being me. They’re standard issue cars so they’re all the same color, size and engine capability. The trip never seizes to amuse me. The five of us in business attire and shades to protect our eyes walking towards the dealership in the wind, Armageddon style. If we were in slow motion I’m 100% certain there would be some sort of heroic music playing in the background. We settle into each of our pseudo own cars and set the mirrors, music and of course seat. Similar to drag racers in the 50’s revving our engines silently accepting the challenge to best test drive each of our toys. Like a presidential procession, one after the other we take to the road. And its on… Each of us ready to bring it!
Drivers and people on the road are somewhat confused by the sudden surge of identical Impalas but pay no mind as the road is plenty wide and empty. Visuals of the new Mazda commercials where each car splits into 2 then 4 then 8 surface in my mind and I catch myself thinking “how can a car this ugly be sooo damn sexy to drive??!”

The power under the hood is remarkable, no wonder all provincial police cars are of this kind. We change lanes left right and centre and it soon becomes clear to those of us who have taken to the car and loving the ride that not all everyone gets this surge of adrenaline when driving. The car doesn’t control us we control it. Coming to abrupt halts at stop signs and making faces at traffic lights we’re like toddlers discovering the freedom in learning to walk. We ease into the parking lot and slowly but surely reality sinks back in and visuals of Armageddon, Mazda commercials and drag racing disappear like a puff of smoke into thin air. Back to the drawing board… next on the agenda are fax machines that not only fax but scan at the same time… ohhhh ahhhhhh yay me!