Et tu, Burte?

I Called my friend up last night who has grown more and more eerily depressed as the days have gone by. The nerve! He’s been in Canada less than three years and ALREADY he’s developing a complex.
Try 15 buddy!
He’s this incredibly sweet guy who values family to no end. So smart but so incredibly crippled by his simplicity and inability to entertain or engage in abstract thought. “Philosophy?!” he says, “Will that feed me at the end of the day?” But, despite our differences, I think I’ve finally come to understand him. Raised by simple hardworking people whose biggest concern was having a place to live and food on the table he wasn’t afforded the luxury of developing his mind. When you’re occupied with basic essentials human needs like water and food somehow your concern for other issues like Socrates’ theories diminishes emmensely. He’s got a heart of gold but educated and cultured by his travels and experience he finds that he neither fits in here nor there. He is unable to adjust to his newfound social status and at the same time unable to let go of his brute past. I genuinely believe that god has opened many doors for him simply because he is a good man. But because many things have come so easy for him in the past and with his transition to life in Canada he is slowly becoming depressed at his in ability to make the one thing he wants most happen. He’s so infatuated with finding a bride and it’s consuming his entire being. I feel for the man… Half the women he wants to meet won’t even have coffee with him because of his family’s situation or because of how long he’s been in Canada. “Mafeesh wa7da tesma3 3any gheer ma te2ool 3alaya FOP w materdash te2abilny” I giggle at how clever it was of him to unintentionally change the B to a P, he did after all arrive on a plane and not a boat. He brings up an amazing point though. What is up with women?! So he has a bit of an accent and he hasn’t been in the country for long and sure he relates to an entirely different form of pop culture and literature. But really, isn’t that what women want? Someone who isn’t a replica of themselves? Some one who will expose them to different things and have a different take on life? Whatever happened to wanting to be with someone that will treat you right and cherish you for who you are? Anyways…thats a whole other can of worms for a different day.

He was too funny last night. His depression seemed to be of a different sort. The kind filled with sexual frustration and the inability to do anything about it. So in an attempt to break the awkward tension, thinking I’m funny, I enthusiastically offer my self up. He pauses, like he’s seriously considering the offer or like he’s thought about it before and then goes… "ummmmm no." And I go … “no? you’re sure? “I make a clicking noise by sucking my teeth at this point still thinking I’m a barrel of laughs and suggestively go: “It might be fuuuuun… I’ve heard stories about good boys gone bad… mategy negy (lets go) there's nothing like being damned to a life in hell firrrrre by 2 religions instead of one.”

Side note: Am I the only one that finds it hilarious that clerics always
say hell fire? It so increadibly redundant. Kinda like starbucks'
chai tea... they're one and the same thing people!

He takes on this serious serious tone and I know its about to go down… he calmly responds “no thank you.” I hesitate for a bit… I think I might have unintentionally hurt his pride or something by making fun of his lack of mo jo. I find that there is a beauty that shines through in people when they are that exposed. It is precisely during those moments of clarity and understanding the person I am talking to that I feel most human. Ma 3aleena... at this point I was so knee deep in the conversation there was no turning back… sooo I laugh and fake sob only to over dramatically announce “7atta anta ya Brutus?! Ana 3arfa… heya il world kidda… yom leek w yom 3aleek” and after the words come out of my mouth i think... oh god... please say u know who Brutus was!