loonies!?!

Who calls a part of their currency a loonie anyways? you sort of have to say it to yourself and think about it to get what i mean. "I had a loonie here" ... i keep getting visuals of rubber walls and an oh so radiant bleach white straight jaket... a compliment to my tanned skin... but really! Canadians will swear its in homage to the loon… but ask any Canadian when the last time they saw a loon or even so much as know what it is and you’ll fully understand what I mean. It just makes me want to repeat the phrase “one flew over the cocoo’s nest” over and over and over again.. not because it makes any particular sense but just because I like the way it sounds out loud… If anything there should be a tribute to the geese.. there are so many of them casually roaming the streets and parks of Toronto. So many they could form a union...I can't help but be a little creeped out by them. Think about it... all it really takes for things to get ugly is a wrong look... a pissed off goose with a bad attitude and some friends around... and with all the stereotypes out there in relation to birdbrains no one would ever guess! It would be the perfect crime one that would never lead to any suspision...Hitchcock was soooo onto something! They just casually walk around in parks looking at you like... "did I invite u in? yes I’m rummaging through the garbage! do u mind? you're blocking the sun!".
I've gotta give it to them though... its hard to pull off all that grace and confidence when they're so low down on the food chain... but as the world turns.. lions are caged in zoos and lo and behold the geese are ruling suburbia.l... I bet if they had little cartoon bubbles popping up over their heads I’m sure they'd read things like "I am all that and a bag of chips!"
The thing I’ve noticed though is they've become so used to living in the city and mingling with the immigrant folk that they've grown a bit of arrogance... I mean there you are in the park on lunch just reading your book doing your own thing when one of them catches your eye and you look at them then inevitably take a look at your sandwich and think "hey maybe i should share" so they you throw a piece of your sandwich and they look at it and look at you and look at it again... and bloooop another bubble pops up "what do u think i am? A duck? feeding me toast? If its not buttered baguette then don't waste my time" And poof in an instant you've gone from the caring sensitive sharing human you are into this imbecile... and you catch yourself thinking... I'm so stupid how could that have slipped my mind... they're geese...they're of a different standard completely...
you laugh but I’m serious! they're influencing all sorts of high society... people with all sorts of power...
come the new year...
car manufacturers are looking for inspiration from nature to give to their demographic and all of a sudden goose poo green cars are the must haves of the season! course they don’t call it goose poo green they call it apple green.. and some where in the distance when the commercial is going off... u see a bubble pop up over the head goose's head and reads "Hey... we inspired that! we should be getting royalties!"and the union is meeting somewhere by a lake where some other poor shmuck is attempting to feed the geese crackers and the main bubble reads... " good work guys... we've gotta keep up the good pooping job... at the rate we're going maybe we can inspire the blue jays or the leafs to reconsider metallic goose poo green jerseys" and a not so bright goose will think " what about the raptors?" only to be snapped into reality by a slightly smarter goose who says "dude their jerseys are purple... in a city full of blue... its like convincing an avid Kmart shopper to buy a Fendi hand bag…there is just noooooo concept of style! But rest assured the gap will catch on and market scarves at$99.99 in the season's greatest color. You guessed it! majestic lime!" and soon we notice that the geese, with their" i am the cream of the crop with mentalities and the deep belief that thier tooo goood not to be recognized for it..." are all now smirking with smug pride... and bubbles everywhere read "we took a shit.. and they were inspired!"
ITS LOONIE I TELL YA LOOONIEEEEEE!