Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Happenings of a Bureau Wednesday…

9:12 am email goes out to Deenz & Cerise & Lamoushka
Subject : my sentiments exactly!

David Letterman's Top 10 Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle
10. Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day !
9. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without looking over your shoulder.
8. Cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.
7. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you will get a piece of cheese.
6. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.
4. 23 power cords - 1 outlet.
3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds.
2. The carpet has been there since 1976 and shows more signs of life than your co-workers.
.....and the Number 1 drawback to working in a cubicle :

1. You can't walk out and slam the door when you quit.


Prompt Corteous cute Lamoushka responds with

yep...everyday I feel like writing a little poem...Ode to my Cubicle...

10:31 Deenz answers with a wonderfully quirky email to Sand-e & Cerise… she’s the one always giving us these “thoughts” making us see things from a different light.

on the upside you can curse out every single person in your office while on the phone...and when they ask you what the hell? you can just say "excuse me! I was having a private conversation, were you eavesdropping? what a terrible violation!! i'm appalled!! tsk tsk."

10:32 Cerise responds in magnificent minimalist style… we’re convinced that the soup Nazi from Seinfeld is a founder of her corporation…. Its affected her morale on a stellar strength crap load. Everything is grey and dull in cerise’s office life but we love her anyways.

Unless you're not ALLOWED to be on the phone (Insert a Smiley pointing fingers at his forehead signaling kaboom to the brain here)

Deenz, again the connoisseur that she is responds with.

in such case do same with your imaginary friend..and just add "are you nuts??!!" to previous sentiments - problem sloved :-)

Sand-e touched by the love and support and misty eyed at the heart breaking thought of Deenz’s departure to a far off land where mushy peas are an actual delicacy responds with…

wa7ashtoony ya banat!
I feel like stuff is missing when I don’t see u now... you're like the morphine to a subway accident survivor. You make the reality that I have "one arm, one leg and incapable of walking or lifting" a dull insignificant fact. you take me to that happy place...If I were sober I’d definitely do something to myself... your friendship keeps me sedated!

In the midst of all this Sand-e rings Cerise up only to offer alternatives to her festering itch to quit.. The sausage strapped to her belt, I suggest, might contribute to the negative propaganda and stereotype associated with Muslims these days but really it is like dotting her I’s with soccer balls… Makes a bold statement or better still will greatly increase the possibility that she IS in fact insane and in turn the likelihood of getting fired. In layman’s terms…all this boils down to A severance package!

Cerise Sighs and suddenly exclaims.. Whats with Deenz? Why’s she so happy?
Sand-e : Happy? Why whats going on…
Cerise: yeah her email… it’s a “good” day…
Sand-e: what email? I never got an email… how come I never got the email… sniff sniff…
Cerise: dude you’re on the to box… she sent it to you.. you just work for the government you’re slow remember?
Sand-e: no man… I didn’t get it.. forward it onto me!
Cerise: Hmmmm Oddd!

I receive an Email.. it simply reads…
you can still hop and wave...it's good day! i miss you too girls xxxx
eirie silence takes its toll… Shakespeare used nature to forshadow…Cerise and I use Deenz…Is this an indication that perhaps the end is near? Where is Cynical Sarcastic increadibly sweet Deenz? What if this shift in the sands of her mood is a prolific sign of all that’s to come? Where does that leave Cerise and I? How will we think without being fed the thoughts? How are we expected to operate as separate entities? This is sand-e fresh out of thoughts signing out waiting for the brain feed.

2 comments:

If at first said...

Brain feed rarely comes in cubicles...you need space, a chalk board perhaps! Hmm, fine opportunities await you at the (insert name) Board of Edu.

point numero 6...c'est fantastique. Re numero 8...naw, it isnt guns you should fear...no one uses guns anymore (unless of course you're one amongst the TO gun statistics). In any case, its bombs you and your cubicle buddies should fret about, ...in WHICH case you and ze CEO are all going at once! So no need to fret afterall.

Its a good day! NOT. Perky happy thoughts are puke-generating.

Anonymous said...

As the aformentioned Deenz..I would like to assure all, that before my departure to the land of mushy peas and bangers and mash, I shall be sure to leave behind my big book of Cynical Sarcastic Snarky Cow Quotes. Should keep you guys going for quite a while. It's MASSIVE.