Nostalgia all round

I associate certain memories with a certain smell…. and its the oddest things tooo... The smell of teenshoky(prickly pears) for example takes me back to a hot summers day when I was about 12. My brother ,cousins and I had just gotten our allowance... We'd always been taught that team work works miracles so we decided to put all our money together ran down to a guy selling the exotic fruit on the street. He kept peeling them and we kept popping them like they were candy... We must have had at least 10 each.. and I remember feeling smug with the thought that all this happened cuz we worked together... the fact that it probably wasn't the smartest collaboration of funds and effort didn't quit hit home till I saw the shock and horror in my grandmothers eyes when she heard… she shook her head and said… you guys are going to have horrible tummy aches! No one eats that much teen shoky in one day! Then she sat us all down and told us the story about how the fruit is basically the marketing plan for the seeds. There is a hidden propaganda in having a fruit that sweet...

I remember slipping and sliding on the tiles in front of our house on a different summer day. My sister was soo tiny we put her in a big plastic garbage bin and filled it with water… My god if the number of good times that involved that green hose were countless! she splish slpashed for hours… I can’t remember much else about that day except the way she was beaming with sheer joy and how her hair was glistening in a bronzy brown when it caught the sun.

I remember walking into my parents’ bedroom where tiny Naty had fallen asleep waiting for my brother and I to get back from boarding school. She jumped out of bed when she heard my voice and hugged me so tight. Corny as it sounds but it was then that I truly understood what it meant to cry tears of joy. Thinking back now i think somewhere deep inside it was from the fear and relief that after having been gone for so long she hadn't forgotten us.

I remember being about 7 and playing house with the neighbors son. “Mummies and daddies kiss... *long pause* we should kiss..."I thought for half a second sighed and said "yeah ok whatever.."I remember thinking... This is so lame.... why do they do this?!

I remember the way my grandma lost that light in her eyes when my grandpa passed away…. I remember the phone call that came to the house and the way my mother couldn’t stand after she heard the news. I remember how she later told us stories how she'd feel him pray beside her after he'd passed away and how it scared her.

I remember how my grandpa sat me down next to him and told me never to forget him. How he told me that age will do a lot of bad things to people and that we had to hold on to the good moments like these. He said “il kalam ily ba2olholik dah yemkin matefhamishoosh delwa2ty… bas iftikry ghayet matekbary w te2dary tefhamy” he kissed me and kicked me out to play... that was the last time I saw him.

I remember playing with Sam and Sheila both baby orangutans. I remember holding Sam’s hand as we were walking along and thinking my god.. he’s just like a baby.. hands eyes nose face… a lot hairier but still a baby… Sam and Sheila grew too strong for us to take them out of their pens the next summer... we still visited and watched them play for hours though

I remember seeing anger in my fathers eyes when he saw that I’d started to cry in a crowded bookstore. He asked me why I was crying with such tenderness and concern and without even responding he’d known what happened... He asked me to point to the man and before I could raise my arm he had the guy be the collar… “What gives you the right to touch innocent children this way?” the man begged and apologized but I thought my dad wasn't having it... “don’t beg me!” he screamed… “did you not think it was ok just because you weren't gonna get caught?!” and then… the man said… “Please sir… I have a family to feed..” it was then that he let him be… “think of how you would feel if I did such a thing to your daughter…. I will let you go only because I do not wish your daughter to know what a disgrace you are… ” It was strange that such a public display of aggresssion/kindness could end up being such a prominent memory from my past.

I remember going up the stairs to our building in Egypt, climbing out a window and onto the roof of a neighboring store and thinking I was invincible. I visited that same spot on my last visit to Cairo. It was such a small insignificant height off of the ground and the neighboring roof was a couple of inches away… How something as simple could give me such a feeling was mind boggling.

I remember riding my bike with my brother in the garden when he hit his head on the corner of an air-conditioning unit. I remember he was perfectly fine till he saw the blood on his hands.

I remember gas masks, tape on sealed windows, water coolers, hand powered radios, stored food and the sirens of war.

I remember T-shirts that said I survived Dessert storm

I remember video tapes of bombs that looked like fire works

I remember trampolines and marshmallows by the fire.

I remember tether the wild horse my roommate attempted to tame and show.

I remember my friend sobbing "I killed my horse" when tether reared, made Mandy loose control of the reigns and got her hind hoofs tangled in them only to land on her tail bone.

I remember a yodeling concert in the dessert where the clear sky was the perfect canvas for each of the strategically placed stars

I remember My brother sister and I in matching sweat suits

I remember hockey games across the boarder

I remember Marching in unison on a summer’s day

I remember Shiny black boots, Ties and uniform

I remember food fights in the mess hall

I remember that I used to remember

I remember skating on the Charles in Boston

I remember walking for a cure with my 8 year old sister and taking the subway back

I remember slush puppies at Harvard square

I remember Walking to school through Harvard and sitting on the steps at lunch.

I remember Jazz Ensemble

I remember the Sax

I remember Drama class

I remember Twelfth night

I remember Meringue by the pool in Cuba

I remember a conversation in Italian with a complete stranger

I remember Diving into the deep end

I remember buying clothes from a thrift store by the pound

I remember the Monet and the Picasso at the art gallery

BUT Someday... I also want to remember

The Sights in Venice
The Colors in Turkey
The Textiles in Morocco
The Smells of India
My mummy’s scent
My father when he was my father
My grandma’s laugh
My Grandpa’s wisdom
My Other Grandma’s youthfulness
My sense of accomplishment and determination to get there
My comfort with silence
My girlfriends
My uninhibited laughter
My conscience
My sense of creativity
The sound of someone's voice as they say my name
My hearts ability to hold a million and one things