R tsee Fartsee no more?

I always thought I was more of an artsy fartsy but as I was getting all excited about a problem I was discussing with me madre last night, I slowly started to get this weird feeling like maybe I was supposed to be an accountant. Scary! The use of a set rules and simply applying them to the scenario gives me a strange sense of satisfaction. Could this be my calling? A number cruncher 3ala 2akher il zaman? I naturally drew a comparison between it and programming. Programming gives you a sense of control this feeling of superiority. The fact that you have to break every single step down for the computer in order for it to do what you want it to do makes you realize how truly amazing the human mind is and how magnificent it is at linking things together in an abstract non linear manner. Programming gives you the letters of which you’re supposed to make words and beautiful poetry while accounting on the other hand, seems to be the opposite. The words and poetry are there and your job is to categorize and analyze.

10 Lunch time thoughts

1) Why are daddies and babies so cute? Why do I oh and awe when I see a daddy taking care of the bambino? It’s his just the same as it’s hers. For someone that’s all about equality and women’s rights I find myself feeling anti progressive. I Wonder what chaos would ensue should paternity leave be an option in the middle east.

2) While the reemergence of florescent colored Ts, plastic earrings, and tight above the knee shorts aren’t my favorite revamped hot new look. I’ve gotta say I’m totally digging the tights and mini skirt and the bombay bangs.

3) The visuals of really sweaty stinky government workers in a polyester blue material can go out of the window and be replaced by the fantastic women’s short sleeve suite. A plunging neckline in tandem with the tailoring structure of lines is refreshing.

4) Contrary to popular belief, gorgeous deep blue hush puppy eyes, perfectly manicured nails, fabulously colored hair and a non existent waist will not get you any man.

5) Funny is a state of mind being in a good mood brings out my funnies.

6) Maintaining eye contact for a second longer than usual allows for an exposition of sorts.

7) Doritos rock the free world!

8) If my boss was a cartoon character I think she’d be a hybrid mix of the Tasmanian devil and Daffy Duck.

9) Canadian summers make for ideal bike riding weather.

10) Would a kid who grew up wanting to be superman be satisfied as a window washer? Substituting the flying for dangling of a building and the saving lives with the saving of the perfect view?

Music Says it best.

Some times you are at a loss for words and every so often someone comes along who simply says it better than you. Here are 30 lines from music that have stuck with me for a reason or another. It’s not necessarily the words, it’s the way they’re sung, the way a vowel is pronounced or the way a breath is taken before or after the line( in yellow).
1) “innnta wana.. ya 7abeeby ana.. ya 7ayatee ana” ~um Kalthoum
2) “My empire of dirt..I will let you down..I will make you hurt” ~NIN
3) “ Does she stimulate you? Attract and captivate you? Like the way I do? No body aches... nobody aches just to hold you like the way I do ” ~Melissa Ethbridge
4) “can’t stay on your life support there’s a shortage in the switch”~Pink
5) “Something touched me deep inside the day the music died”~ Don Mclean
6) “I wanna be a lion, eh everybody wants to pass as cats” ~Counting Crows
7) “I wear this crown of shitupon my liar's chairFull of broken thoughtsI cannot repair”~NIN
8) “When the violence causes silence how are we mistaken” ~The Cranberries
9) “Disarm you with a smile and leave you like they left me here to wither in denial” ~Smashing Pumkins
10) “you rapture tastes so sweet” ~IIO
11) “I promise I wont try to make your life easier or return to where we were”~Dido
12) “after the rain fall came sanctuary”~Seal
13) “rape me, rape me my friend.. do it and do it again”~Nirvana
14) “Loving you is a like a song I replay Every three minutes and thirty seconds of every day (uh, uh) And every chorus was written for us to recite (right) Every beautiful melody of devotion every night “ Laurn Hill
15) “you say love is a temple love the higher law, you ask me to enter then u make me crawl”~U2
16) “ you can’t break my spirit its my dreams you take” ~James Blunt
17) “you make me sick! I want you and I’m hating it!”~Pink
18) “an indelible line was drawn between what was good, what just slipped out and what went wrong” ~John Mayer
19) “accidentally in love” ~Counting Crows
20) “I call just to hear you on the line… don’t hang up this time… we share the sadness… split screen sadness”~ John Mayer
21) “I could have met you in the sand box I could have passed you on the sidewalk could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away?” ~John Mayer
22) “emancipate yourself from mental slavery non but yourselves can set you free”~ Bob Marley
23) “I love the time and in between the calm inside me, in the space where I can breathe, there is a distance I have wandered to touch upon” ~Sarah Mclaughlin
24) “when you speak angels sing from up above, everyday what turns into love songs” ~louis Armstrong
25) “24, 24 hours to go... I wanna be sedated”~ The Ramones
26) “She’s such a fortunate fool, She’s just so mmmmm” ~Jack Johnson
27) “Thank you providence thank you frailty thank you thank you silence”~Alanis Morissette
28) “ When the heart comes there’s an argument, A fight to save a smile, A small attack on human tears” ~Blue October
29) “Fly me to the moon and let me sing among the stars. Let me see what love is like on Jupiter and mars”~ Frank Sinatra
30) “we would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and open and reach out and speak up This is my utopia”~ Alanis M.

Boos Il wawa

I’ve never been a fan of Hayfa Wahbi’s voice but I’ve always given her credit for having that porn star appeal.
She’s the perfect inflatable Middle Eastern woman. The long black hair, the pouty lips, and a knack for dala3 in that I’ve got sex appeal and I’m going to use it to my advantage way. I’ve always taken her music at face value but something hit me yesterday while watching her latest boos il wawa video clip. Arabic music and the Arab female artist persona has drastically changed over the years. While Hayfa Wahbi swims in a bigger sea of drool than Nancy Agram, Nancy can definitely be accredited for the instigation of this slippery slope of sexier racier video clips.
This phenomenon had me facing two somewhat contradictory emotions. The first, a sense of empowerment and the second a sense of exploitation caused by the objectification of my entire gender.
The first thought left a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Finally women are realizing they’ve got this amazing untapped energy and ability to move mountains with just a little finesse. Why dance around the bush when they can just burn it down in a pyrotechnic blaze of glory? These women send a message that is loud and clear, ‘I am a sensual being and aware of it’. As expected, society has yielded and a sexually in-tune woman has slowly become more OPENLY desired. As a direct result of this shift in ideals, plastic surgery and tummy tucks are no longer only an obsession for Pamela Anderson and the likes. Women are wearing what they want and flaunting what they’ve got. A revolution of sorts has taken place and my generation has managed to experience it first hand.
The second emotion was a little harder to shake off. Though the realization of ones own autonomy is grand and empowering its abundance has a negative consequence. I suddenly became conscious of the age old feminist dilemma of freedom of sexual expression and its inevitable coupling with an increase in objectification. Artists were no longer accumulating a fan base solely on vocal competencies. Ritz, glamour and sexuality are now key players in the game of fame. It is show business after all and so with respect to Hayfa and Nancy it’s completely understandable. It is the ones that want to follow in their footsteps that have me a little concerned. Allowing yourself to become an object of desire in turn promotes an increase in being desired and left unchecked eventually increased objectification. While not every woman is comfortable with the I’ve got goods you want, the abundance of women who carry themselves like they’re on display gives way to a certain assumption or stereotype.
So with every mini revolution comes a mini counter revolution. In this shift towards a more open stance to sexuality I hope the plight will not be hindered by the counter revolution.

Let the circus begin!

One would hope that common etiquette would have taught most not to enter into someone else's domain, house, or space and desecrate it with their nonsensical gibberish. It has come to my attention however, that this is not the case with my red tooshied friend ,The monkey.

I thoroughly understand and am at ease with the simple notion that I will not agree with the world and everyone in it. His need to live in his wacky misguided bubble is a choice he is completely entitled to make. With that said, in a desperate attempt to avoid growing a testicle or three I have thus far successfully steered myself clear of his magnificently ignorant blog. I resisted the urge time and again to dedicate an entry to a cause unworthy, but when he decides to post a comment from his high horse on my space after I'd diligently been trying to remain civil, well, the gloves come off. My comment on his "The anti-bloggers office "post was purposely intended to be personal, mean spirited and counter productive. If nothing else, it has frankly given me peace of mind while allowing me the opportunity to express my zero tolerance level for his garbage. I will simply not put up with it.
His self assumed role of leadership, continuous exploitation of the declining unfortunate circumstance of Egyptian free speech and his incessant need to steal the limelight to feed his ego has caused my fuse to blow one too many times. I applaud the advocacy he contributes to pertinent issues by being vocal but I can not help but notice that there is a Jerry Springer feel to most of what he says. As an Egyptian living in the west, I take issue with his mannerisms and blind support for various issues in a fashion that at best highlight his inadequate ability to get the whole story straight before regurgitating it into any uneducated naive ear that is willing to listen. Today I hop aboard the censorship express, I put on my 'shut the fuck up already' captain's hat ,waive good bye to your deleted comment and ask you in the name of all that is held sacred, not to come again!

3 suicides at Guantanamo surprise surprise

Hello! Prisoners are well into their fifth year of detention with no end insight, they, lack due process, have not been charged not to mention being subjected to constant torture both mentally and physically. Is it a surprise they want to kill themselves? Shouldn’t red lights have been flashing everywhere in people’s heads ages ago? Guantanamo is a loop hole for the despicable. Strip away all the complications and politics and the situation becomes crystal clear, Dogs are treated better than these people are being treated. The cruelty of it all blows me away. And because we are removed from the situation it is easy to toss it aside and think about it on a different day but when the deputy assistant secretary of the state for public diplomacy starts saying things like “the deaths were a good PR move" and describes the suicides as "a tactic to further the jihadi cause", I stop and think “are you kidding me? Did you just say what I think you just said?” These are the people we take for granted? These are the people that represent the majority? What is the world coming to? It's utterly ridiculous!

I am angry

I am angry at the higher ups for allowing Canada to become like the U.S.

I am angry at the decision to stop funding Palestine after a legitimate vote took place to empower a government, that granted might have an extreme approach and definition of democracy, but elected by its people for it people none the less.

I am angry at the suffering that will be caused by this fundamental decision. I am angry that he is following in bush’s footsteps.

I am angry at his attempts to make us anything but a peacekeeping nation. I am angry at his indiscretion and short sight. I am angry at his growing ability to fill the hearts of Canadians with hate. I am angry at the way 17 Men were rounded up, denied visitation and made into monsters without having been proven guilty. I am angry at the panic the media has managed to create. I am angry at his in ability to tell people to get a grip and resolve the issue in a chic non militant manner. We don’t know if these men are innocent or guilty yet so shouldn’t there be a basic civility in the way we handle the situation?

Wouldn’t have containing the subject benefited Canada as a whole far more than plastering their faces, names and addresses all across the papers?

Yes take your precautions protect your people but do it in Canadian fashion. Respect these people’s autonomy as humans, give them their basic rights and think about what the over all affect of the big spins in the media have on our identity as a whole. Canadians are known to be extremely tolerant, accepting and multicultural. With all the hysteria in the air people are vandalizing mosques, looking at each other suspiciously and above all they are gobbling up the ignorance. I do not know if these men are guilty or not but I am enraged at the idea that people are afraid of teenagers, silly boys who want to be thugs. Youth who obviously have been misguided… or NOT. I am certainly not making excuses for inexcusable behavior but for us as a nation to condemn people based on the US’s experience is entirely unfair. For an entire shopping mall to be evacuated because a van without a license plate was parked in front of the entrance is insane. We need to get a grip. Canada is a good country. It has not invaded lands, it has not involved itself in politics for revenue’s sake and it definitely has not alienated its civilians by creating hate through the media. We need to remember what it is that makes Canada grand. We need to remember all these things and hold on to them because without them Canada becomes the US. There is absolutely nothing worse than being a follower lacking the punch and zeal to back up your insanity. I am Canadian and I will not succumb to the madness.

She's there we're here

I’m worried about her. She’s there we’re here and even if she was here, who am I kidding? How could I possibly help? What could I possibly say? She’s much better at it than I am. She’s the glue that’s held us together and the tinge of exactly what was missing to make things right. I remember how things were before her now. I remember the space, the gap and the silence. I remember the one man conversations, pathetic attempts desperately trying to avoid depression at all costs. They’re back now. I vaguely remember a time where the bitter cold was bearable, where the good times were all round, the laughs loud and the bonds strong. I remember driving home one night and thinking ‘so this is what it’s like to be happy’. I remember my hysteria… my inability to breathe and my uncontrollable sobbing. A fit of anguish from which I’d never thought I’d survive. I remember her patience and the calm and serenity I felt following the panic attack. It’s my turn to step up to the plate. It’s my turn to carry the weight. It’s my turn but how? What could I possibly say or do? She’s there and we’re here. Even if she was here, who am I kidding? How could I possibly help? What could I possibly say? She’s much better at it than I am.

Musings at 3

All is quiet on the western front. I’m deeply engaged with my spreadsheet when something catches the corner of my eye. It’s a post-it attempting to find its way through the baffle. It reads ‘HELLO!’ obviously written in haste.
I attempt to send it back with the words “hi ya : ) Cat got your tongue?” but it won’t budge past the seam. He was resourceful and used a paperclip to force his through, and I struggle with mine. I hear a muffled heckle and shortly after get another note from my Through the Wall friend. It reads “No, but this is how they communicate in prison. The similarities are disturbing!” Determined to win the ‘who can make who laugh louder war’ I suppress my urge to break out into knee slapping hahahas.
I take a quick glance around, jot down the words “how so very V for Vendetta-ish of u.”, crumple the post-it up and throw it over.
I notice a shadow through the seam that brought me the initial note.
Eureka!
By God I’ve got it!
I draw two suspicious eyes and a message that reads “I’m watching you” in blue ink. I make a contraption to carry my sign out of rubber bands and paper clips then slowly lower it over the wall.
Francis is hysterical with laughter and stands up to see what I’m up to without even needing to peer, lunge or stretch. “That’s hilarious… not so much the words but the mechanism… you sure u have enough to do?”

Ohh how I hate the Cowardly Hit and Runner!

Big slick is looking a little impaired with his scratched, slightly dented back bumper. He’s still as sexy as ever but needs some attention so that he doesn’t feel neglected. Feeling guilty about not having protected him from the harsh world around him, I washed, turtle waxed, vacuumed and polished him as soon as I got the chance. His new car smell is slowly fading and is being replaced by a squeaky clean scent. I’m a little worried that these things usually happen in shots of three. With two down I’m growing anxious and worried with the anticipation of the arrival of the third. I might have to be forced to bust out ruby red and cycle about for a bit till big slick receives all the right TLC at the dealership. ‘Course nothing is for free so the cost of Big Slick’s royal treatment will inevitably mean my rape. Hopefully my deductible isn’t as high as I think it is and perhaps just perhaps the freaking insurance will cover it! Stupid Fuckers! They get so much out of me but do I ever see any of it back when I need it?!
SHAME ON YOU!
Did you say yes?!
Reality is knocking at the door and it says LaLa land has left the building! I can hear the insurance agent laughing somewhere in a distance at the suggestion that I pay insurance specifically for times when shit hits the fan. Does he not smell the stink from where he’s sitting? Surely the fan gives him more than a whiff of it?!

Update: So I mighta been a smidgen harsh with the insurance folk... I called them up after the fine people at the dealership told me that Big slick's spa day would not only cost my left arm but right leg as well. A life time lacking the ability to applaud and loads of hopping on one leg flashed before my eyes. Corey, the man whose children I'd promised to bear after he'd delivered the good news laughed at how giddy i got when he said he would waive my deductible. Not only is my car being fixed entirely by the insurance company buttttttt I also got a free rental in the mean time and should get the car back in 2 days. How sweet it is!

Invert - Revert

++++>The transformation<++++

اني جالسة في عمق الافكار التي تستغرق ذهني و تستعمر وقتي و تقيد عزيمتي

أريد أن أصرخ لكي أسمع نبرات صوت طموحي و هي تتوغل في روحي و تدفعني لمعارضة اليأس

Mother nature is crying

Mother nature is crying.
She's thrown in the towels and decided to be down in the dumps for the day.
She emanates a slow steady constant plea for help, washing her hands clean of it. Whatever "it" may be.
She's kicking and screaming on the roof of my car and the wind shield wipers tune her out while diligently engaged in their synchronized swim.
The roads shimmer and the puddles dance with the arrival of each and every raindrop.
The bridge is her momentary muzzle.
The music slowly comes together, the drops mimics a beating drum and the swooshing wipers keep the tempo. Sarah McLaughlin fills in the gaps, the piano seeps in through my ears, lingers for a note of two and my mind has lift off with no regard for gravity. It levitates and hovers between here and there in an intrinsic hypnotic lull.

A wee bit of zee trivia

I took this quiz on the BBC. Lets see what you've got. I got 2 out of three right.
What is Batman’s female counterpart Bat Woman set to make a comeback into the world of crime fighting as?

A: a “lipstick Lesbian”
B: A single Mother
C: A peace activist

The actor who has portrayed Colombian coffee icon Juan Valdez for four decades has stepped down. What quality must his replacement have?
A: A way with the ladies
B: A knack with mules
C: A bushy moustache

Letters from philosopher Voltaire to Catherine The Great sold for world record $750,000 at auction. How did he sign some of the letters?
A: The old Hermit
B: The Old Optimist
C: The Old Troublemaker

Freaking Saudi Arabia!

This country obviously has a personal agenda against me or something I’m convinced there are bounty hunters that have dispatched specifically to destroy and sabotage me.

They’re like genital herpes, you know they exist but want nothing to do with them!

As if the kalakee3 I carried around with me for years after I moved to Canada and discovered that contrary to fallacious beliefs, boys are not the enemy;
The random sexual harassment I was constantly subjected to in public places; The freaking gas masks and sirens; The pool that was cemented in at an all girls school in a country with normal temperatures in the high 40’s to the mid 50’s; my freaking inability to travel to the only neighboring country that doesn’t double as the back drop scenery for ice age 1 and 2 isn’t enough. Of all the countries at the world cup this year, Saudi Arabia had to be my draw in the pool at the office. ‘Course Ghana, Togo or Trinidad would have done just a good a job of making me loose but no I had to pick Saudi Arabia!